Stress

So. I have been stressed a lot lately. Do you know what some things that happen to you when you are stressed are? They are pain of any kind, heart disease, digestive problems, sleep problems, depression, obesity, autoimmune diseases, skin conditions, such as eczema.

Stress Warning Signs and Symptoms are -bear with me now- : (Cognitive Symptoms) Memory problems, Inability to concentrate, Poor judgment, Seeing only the negative, Anxious or racing thoughts, Constant worrying. (Emotional Symptoms): Moodiness, Irritability or short temper, Agitation, inability to relax, Feeling overwhelmed, Sense of loneliness and isolation, Depression or general unhappiness. (Physical Symptoms): Aches and pains, Diarrhea or constipation, Nausea, dizziness, Chest pain, rapid heartbeat, Loss of sex drive, Frequent colds. (Behavioral Symptoms):     Eating more or less, Sleeping too much or too little, Isolating yourself from others, Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities, Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax, Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing). http://helpguide.org/mental/stress_signs.htm Go there for more info.

Another thing to put here is that I have discovered, for myself in any case, that when I am stressed, then my blood sugars go up. They tend to skyrocket for me, hitting easily 300-500. That is extremely high, seeing as my goal is to be around 150 so I can have kids in a couple years. So you can imagine how easy that is when I am constantly stressed. And I mean it when I say, I am constantly stressed. If it isn't fighting with the fiancee/boyfriend person, it is the fighting at the house, or the stress of worrying about my dad and people who use him, or stress about my nephews, or stress about college, or about the cranky shiftleader at work, or on and on and on the list goes. I swear I am going to have an ulcer by the time I turn 30.

And those anti-depressant/stress pills do nothing. If anything, they make things worse. Don't ask me how, but in my case, they did nothing for me. Go figure. I must have the worst luck- diabetes, no insurance, stress, and no stress relief. It's very annoying, and I am getting sick of it.

There should be a program in every county in every state that people could go to in order to learn how to deal with stress, help find answers to dissolve that stress. Help people form habits, help people find insurance or a way to get what they need. Help people learn to handle their temper, or deal with alcoholism, or how to grow a backbone, or how to scold their children so that they don't think that they can get away with whatever they want because the parents don't want to listen to their children cry and scream. If there was a system out there for something like that, then I think people would lead better lives. People need to learn how to help each other again, like they used to, instead of this new society that is only looking out for number one.

Ketchup

Hey guys. Sorry I have been gone for a while. With school, and work, and life in general, I haven't been able to post recently. However, today is all about the catch-up.

So. I had an appointment with the doctor on Wednesday, but I ended up forgetting about it because... well, why did I forget? I think it was because I had a Marine Biology portfolio that needed to be passed in on Wednesday, and I was busy trying to catch up with that in time for class. I also think there was some issues at home that needed to be dealt with. So I called them right when I realized I had an appointment. I remembered right when I was supposed to be walking through the doctor's doors with my polite smile and kind, to-do attitude. Insert chuckle. I rescheduled for April 29th at 3:00 PM. Let us hope that I can remember, shall we?

Today came, and I realized that Sunday was the last day I would have Levemir.  So I called the Strong Area Health Clinic and explained to them my situation- that I was without insurance, that I didn't have the money to buy a vial of Levemir, because it is a hundred and fifteen dollars for a vial that lasts me a month, and the program I am trying to get in to is taking their sweet old time. The kind receptionist told me that they would look for some insulin that they could hand over to me, and would call me back shortly. Unfortunately, my phone was still on silent from French class, and I missed their call. However, there is such a thing as Voice Mail on such phones as the Cell Phone, and the nice lady left a message saying that they had samples that I could have, and that they would hold the samples in the refrigerator until I managed to come and pick them up. Those ladies are amazing.

The boyfriend/fiancee person went for his driving test for the second time today. We managed to get the date wrong. He was supposed to take it on Thursday. So he had to call them and reschedule his appointment, and therefore will not be able to drive us around until probably the first week of May. Poor guy is all bummed out.

Alice in Wonderland

So I went to see Alice in Wonderland 2D with my sister and her sister in law today. Pretty fun. Bought a large Sierra Mist, small popcorn with butter, and Twizzlers. Took 15 units of Novalog for it after, because I was feeling pretty crappy. Probably should have taken it before, but I didn't think about it till I was already inside the theatre. I don't like taking insulin in public because people stare. I hate getting dirty looks from people. It makes me so uncomfortable. I mean, I am not a druggie people. Or at least not the bad kind. I HAVE to do drugs to live, they are prescribed. I am pretty sure that if I was doing something bad like shooting up, I would not do it in the middle of a public place where tons of people could see me. But hey, it could happen. I guess. I've been getting these looks ever since I was first diagnosed, when I was 5.

When I was a little kid, when I first got diagnosed with it, I lost a lot of friends due to it. People were ignorant. They thought that if their kids were let around me, they would catch it, like it was contagious and if I touched their kids, it would be transferred through my skin. Come on people, Diabetes is not AIDS. It's not contagious.  Oh well. Not everybody knows, you know? I guess I can't expect everybody to understand what it is like. So I do my thing, and just try to keep my experiences as little awkward as possible.

Trip To Boston

So I went to Boston yesterday with my boyfriend/fiance thing (lawl) and our Marine Bio teacher and the few members that decided to go. Packed all my things- insulin, syringes, snacks. Snacks consisted of Gatorade and Pepper Relish Lays chips. Yum. Blood sugars were okay. I didn't feel any high blood sugars coming on, and I hardly ever have low blood sugars at the moment. We arrived and went to the Aquarium. It was amazing. My favorite thing was the Sea Turtle. She was a beauty. Anyway. It was hard to keep a tabs on my blood sugars because right now, I don't have a monitor. I would have bought a replacement one, but apparently they don't make that type anymore. I had gone to get a different type, but it would have consisted of me having to buy brand new test strips. And the test strips for it ran about $66 for a box of 50 test strips. Umm, that is a week's worth. That's almost my entire paycheck. So no thanks. I will keep a tab on my blood sugars by feel for now. I did, however, find a program that will help me get test strips for cheaper, for like $20 a box. And it is supposed to get me a free test monitor. I have to go out today and hopefully get it.

Alright. For today.

So, I keep waking up with high blood sugars. Or at least, that is what they feel like. Heavy heartbeat, dry, nasty-tasting mouth, head all dizzy and such. Body feels slow. So. Why do I keep waking up with high blood sugars? I take my levimir every night. I know I did last night before I went to sleep. Do I eat stuff before bed and don't remember to take insulin for the food? Let's see. What did I have when I got home last night from Boston? I had... a slice of pizza, and a Popsicle. Popsicle was 5 carbohydrates- not enough to bother with. I guess it was the pizza. It would have had at least 15 carbohydrates in it, and add that to the popsicle that would be 20 carbohydrates. I should have taken 4 units of novalog. Without the 4 units, that drives my blood sugars up 30 points for every unit of insulin. So. 120 points above what it should have been. And did I take insulin for the supper I had? I did, but was it enough? Probably not, because it was fast food, and fast food is hard to calculate. Therefore, we found the source of the high blood sugars.

What could be done about this? Well, fast food restaurants could be nice and put a menu up of everything on their menu with the carbs listed right on it for each size. But no, they don't do that. They don't care if people have a hard time with their food due to medical reasons. They don't care if people become sick because of it. They just want our money. Another reason why I hate how things are run. It should be a law that restaurants have to list the amount of carbohydrates in each of their foods. But that would be too much of a hassle, and nobody wants to deal with it, so people like me who have to count their carbs have to suffer for it. Are we supposed to just not eat out? Are we supposed to eat it and suffer? I don't think that is right. We have a right to live just like any other person.

Missing Sickness

So I took my midnight dose of Levimir three hours late. On accident. Blegh. Now my stomach is all nasty-feeling. Not smart. I am hoping that keeping this blog will help me to remember.

Late Night Thoughts

It is very scary being a Diabetic in Maine after you turn 21. The state doesn't cover you after that, it doesn't even give you an idea on how to get your medicines. I've been scrambling around since November of '09 trying to figure out a way to get medicine, and I'm still trying to find somebody to help me now.

Insurances won't take people with pre-existing illnesses. There's very little money relief programs. I'm waiting on some program to get back to me, but that won't be for a week and a half right now, and I will be out of Levimir in probably 5 days. It's ridiculous.

Now Obama wants to make a government run insurance policy like Canada, and in theory it is a great idea. But they are taxing the people for their idea. Who gets taxed more, the poor people, or the rich? It's harder for us poor people because we now HAVE to buy insurance, with this new policy. What if that insurance takes up our whole paychecks? How are we supposed to buy food? How are we supposed to pay for our living arrangements? How are we supposed to take care of our children?

It seems to me that the government wants all the sick, poor people to just curl up and die.

Apparently where my cousin lives, in Scotland, they give you insurance. Must be nice. Scotland doesn't hate their poor sick people.

Supper Time For the Diabetic

So. Looked around the room for my purse, which holds the ever-important INSULIN! It was near the pit bull. I dug through the make-up and the random receipts to find the Novalog vial. This one is mainly full. Found an unused syringe. I have to make a mental note to throw out the used syringes in my bag. They tend to collect when you are barely home, and don't dare to throw them out on campus due to all the drug-using hippies that I have been warned about. I would hate for my syringes to be used to shoot up, and then have the drug end up killing some poor kid.

So I drew up 12 units of Novalog, which, right now, covers about 60 carbohydrates. Yes, carbs, not Calories. Calories are not as precise, and my diagnosis is more complex than a lot of diabetics out there. Took the insulin, which hurt- probably going to have a bruise on my stomach now. Set the insulin on my cluttered desk- also must make mental note to put it back in purse with fresh bag of syringes for my trip to Boston tomorrow. Now I'm writing about my conquest on remembering to take insulin for my food. Took a bite of the AWESOME spaghetti that my boyfriend's mom made, and it is cold. Bummer. I will still eat it though. Might end up with a low blood sugar soon because I doubt there are 60 carbs in the dish of spaghetti I have eaten. Then I will suck down some juice. Yum.